Book Review: Letter to My Daughter, by George Bishop

This was my first opportunity to read and review a work of fiction, and I jumped on it. Fiction is my absolute favorite genre, and I read a lot (A LOT) of it. (Memoirs are a very close second, and not to be confused with biographies, which make me want to lie down and weep from boredom, most of the time.) I admit though, I was kind of skeptical when the book came in the mail. For starters, it is a book about the relationship between a mother and a daughter and it was written by a man. (Some of you are frowning, aren't you? FROWNING! I FROWNED TOO.)

Now, I know that there are authors who write all kinds of books from various and sundry points of view and do it believably. But I find that I'm always way more critical and suspicious of male authors who write in the first-person as a woman. One of the things that annoys me the most in male-authors-writing-women's-perspective books is the emphasis on sexuality. It's not that sexuality doesn't exist, obviously, but I think that male authors tend to overstate it. What is it they say, that men think about sex every seven seconds? And women, what, like, twice a week? Maybe it's not THAT vast of a difference, but I do feel sometimes like male authors make sexuality play a much larger part than it would in the real world. And that's just my opinion, but it prejudiced me against George Bishop as soon as I freed that book from its wrapper.

Here's the good news: George Bishop is a good writer. And this is his first novel! Letter to My Daughter is a relatively short novel (only 150ish pages) about the relationship between a 15-year-old girl and her mother, a relationship that isn't going particularly well. The two have a fight that ends with the mother, Laura, slapping her daughter, Liz, across the face, and Liz pretty much steals the family car and takes off. While Laura is at home worrying, she pens a letter to Liz that tells the story of her own troubled teenage years, in an attempt to reconcile what seems like a vast disconnect between them. It turns out Laura herself had a difficult relationship with her parents and a youth filled with rebellion and poor choices, and she tries to tell this to Liz so that she'll know “everything I've always meant to tell you but never have.”

Here's what I love: that this book is written as a letter. I don't think it would have been effective any other way. It's a simple concept – a mother writing a heartfelt, moving letter to her daughter – but it's a wonderful one, too. Letters are so PERSONAL, so special. People KEEP letters. I've never felt quite the same about a printed-out email as I have a handwritten letter, have you? I was also pleasantly surprised that Mr. Bishop didn't offend me as a male author writing as a female. This may be because the book was kind of straightforward – there weren't pages filled with flowery, desperate emotion, because the story itself was emotional enough. 

I did want to kick Laura occasionally, when she would wonder aloud whether Liz had gotten into drugs or involved too deeply with certain boys because I felt like she was the kind of parent who stood too often on the sidelines, when she should have been out on the field fighting for the well-being of her own daughter. But I kind of liked it, in a way, too, because it really made me think about how hard it is going to be to be a parent to a teenager, with conflicting desires to protect a child from everything and nothing at the same time. Protect them or let them suffer the consequences of their own poor decisions?

I also saw a lot of myself in Laura, frankly, as I see myself as a very conflict-avoiding person, and writing a letter is the best way to get out of having to do something face to face. I did a lot of that when I was younger, apologizing to my parents in notes left on pillows, and to this day I'd much rather email than talk on the phone, ESPECIALLY if the conversation could get the last bit heated or frustrating. But it was hard reading about someone else being just like me – I was annoyed at Laura that she hadn't done more, and done it sooner, and there she was, sitting there writing it down in a very passive manner. (To clarify, her STORY isn't passive, I just wanted to see her get a little more FREAKED OUT that her daughter was nowhere to be found, driving the family car around without a license. I know Bishop didn't want that to be the focus of the story, but it was hard for me not to want to slap her upside the head and say LADY! AT LEAST WALK AROUND THE BLOCK AND SEE IF SHE'S OUT THERE!)

I'd definitely recommend this book. It wasn't my favorite book or even one I'd read again, necessarily, but it was a quick read and it was well-written. Maybe a good beach read? I was pleasantly surprised that Bishop didn't make Laura into a whiny, oversexualized woman (I'm sorry I suspected him of that, originally) but a believable and engrossing character in a believable and engrossing story. I actually would really be interested in reading something else that Bishop may write; I think he does have a wonderful writing style and I'd absolutely read another of his novels should he publish more.

If you'd like to win a copy of this book (I have one to give away!) all you have to do is leave a comment telling me what the best letter you ever got was. Was it from a parent? A friend? An ex-boyfriend? I still have a book of letters and notes that Dave gave me when we were dating in high school and I was going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic for two weeks. There was one for every day I was gone, and he'd doctored up comic strips to make the story of our (admittedly very short, at that point) relationship and I remember thinking two weeks of being away from him was going to be AGONY. (And then we broke up when I got home, but no biggie – we got married eight years later.)

Comments

[ANNIE]

The best letter ever? Easy. The one that accompanied the first pictures that Tim ever sent me of himself. The first time I ever saw his handwriting. The first time I ever saw his face. We had been set up by mutual family friends and the foundation of our relationship was laid through telephone calls, but this is the letter that introduced me to my husband and I will cherish it always.

[Laura]

My most memorable letter was from a close friend, who knew I was having a tough go of it and sent a note just to cheer me up. Small act that meant a whole lot!

I really enjoy reading your posts and sometimes wonder if we've ever crossed paths without realizing it as I live in Reston and the pictures of your bathroom pre-remodel look very similar to mine!

[Maggie]

The best letter I ever got was a short letter written inside my birthday card from my husband while he was in Iraq 5 years ago. He was just so sweet and elegant during that deployment! I just felt so special!
Thanks for the review - I may have to read that book!

[Bethtastic]

My best "letter" so far was from my sweet little girl. It was the first one she signed her name all by herself, and wrote Mommy on the envelope. :D

[Ashley]

My husband and I started dating in tenth grade. I decided after a rough patch during my freshman year of college that this wasn't what I wanted, and broke up with him. We got back together a few weeks later because we missed each other so much, but it wasn't going well because now HE wasn't sure. He wrote me a letter one day and I was terrified to open it, thinking he was dumping me for good. Instead, he told me how much he loved me and that he was in it 100%. We got engaged a year later and now have been married for seven years. Best letter ever. :o) (Sorry, I ramble!)

[Christy]

It's silly, because the most memorable letter I ever got wasn't deeply meaningful or anything. It was from a friend who was away at a scout-camp thing that was pretty crazy - like literally all you had was the stuff in your pack to survive for a week. And he wrote it on a map that he folded up and mailed to me. I remember thinking first how cool it was, then being scared that he might NEED that map!

[DiaryofWhy]

The best letters (impossible to pick just one) were the ones my friends sent me when I was studying abroad for a semester in France. This was apparently during a time when we did have e-mail but letters hadn't yet gone completely out the window. I kind of miss those days.

[Liz]

I know I'm supposed to comment on the best letter I've ever received, but my FIL just passed away on Monday & I spent a few hours yesterday reading old letters he had saved. I was so touched & found it amazing to read letters from his aunts, uncles, brothers, mom & dad. All people who are long gone & we knew nothing about. It brought some of his younger life alive to me. It made me sad that the art of letter writing is disappearing.

[Wiz]

My mom wrote me several letters starting before I was born in a diary. She gave it to me on my 18th birthday. It was so interesting to read what she said to me when she was pregnant, especially when I was pregnant as well and all the way up through high school.

[Farrell]

Sorry to steal from Bethtastic but ditto: the best letter was from my daughter, the first time she wrote, all by herself, with no help, "I love Mommy. From Sophie."

[Jess]

My grandfather always wrote the best letters and sent little presents along with them. My favorite was a letter that accompanied a pair of tiny plastic shoes, wrapped in kleenex, and stuck inside an old check box. The letter described his trip to Ireland, lush, green, lovely, blah blah. And then he described how one night, he was stirred by a noise in his room. When he awoke the next morning, he found a tiny pair of shoes left in the room - most certainly from a leprechaun. I totally believed it for the longest time and probably bragged about it to all my friends. I was in my 20s when I found the letter and box again, and realized that the shoes were a decoration taken off of a St. Patty's Day cake. Totally. Duped.

[Hope]

I have fond memories of getting letters from a long distance (ex) boyfriend. This was before everyone and their grandmother had email. Sometimes, I miss that personal touch.

[Dani]

The best letter I got was from my piano teacher, after she'd moved away, for my high school graduation. She'd been my teacher from the time I was 6 til I was 18, and was just a really important person in my life. I still miss her.

[Teri]

The best letter I got was from my husband about 24 years ago. There were actually several of them the summer of 1986. We married on May 3rd and he left for the Army on May 5th. I was home pregnant, living with him parents and missing him horribly. He wrote me the sweetest love letters those 2 months he was at basic training. I loved getting his phone calls, but the letters I could read over and over.

[Lisa]

The best was a series of emails that my now-husband sent to me almost daily when I spent a semester in England. He printed them all out for me and gave them to me in a binder when I got home.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I feel the exact same way about the difference between memoirs and biographies!

My favorite letter(s) were the ones I would send to my grandmother as an elementary student, because she would correct the grammar and spelling and send them back to me. I didn't like it at the time, obviously (annOYing!), but now that my grandmother is gone, I think of it fondly. She was always trying to teach and encourage my writing.

[ashley]

My favorite letter I received is one my older sister wrote me when I was in college. My 2 roomates were moving away and I was all upset and sad, and i got her letter and it was hillarious, and sweet and just what i needed. We were never close growing up and fought all the time, but as soon as I moved away we became best friends and have been ever since.

[ashley]

P.S....your last post cracked me up because i am the exact same way. I am planning our Disneyland trip for September 2012--ya know, 2 and 1/2 years from now. seriously.

[Sarah]

I got this letter once from my old boss from my first job who had moved away. Odd choice, I know, but for some reason it meant a lot to me! I still have it here somewhere...

[Lacey]

The best "letter" I ever got was actually a series of cards (put together, they all formed a letter) my cousins got for me and wrote in each of them when I was leaving MI to drive across the country on my move to CO. It was very hard for me to leave them as they've always been more like sisters to me, and they bought me a bunch a cards and wrote what time of day I should open them (stopping for lunch, dinner, stopping for the night). It made a very heart-wrenching move across country much easier and made me feel less alone on those stupid highways through lonely Nebraska. I still have them, and when I feel sad, I pull them out and re-read them.

[Becky]

My most memorable letter is one that I received in 6th grade from my best friend. I was new to the school and did not know anyone there. All the other students had been together since Kindergarten and were extrememly close. It had been a couple of days and I still had not made any friends. I was sitting at lunch by myself (feeling sorry for myself, I am sure) when the girl that would soon be my new best friend handed me a note saying that she thought I was a funny person and seemed very nice and wanted to know if we could be best friends. I was so happy that I was able to make a friend that day and I still have the note tucked away in a safe place. She and I are still best friends to this day.

[Nancye Davis]

Wow, the best letter....ALL of the letters from my sweet husband are incredibly special. I treasure every one of them. We'll be celebrationg 17 years of marriage in a few weeks! :)

nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net

[Katie]

My favorite letters have to do with a 2 week mission trip and my boyfriend too. He left for East Asia and I just lost it the night before he left. On the day he left, he handed me a fat envelope with a letter for every day he'd be gone--he had stayed up late the night before to write those letters, telling me how much he'd miss me and loved me. Sweetest thing ever!

[Courtney]

My favorite letter was from my high school boyfriend. It was actually the note he signed in my senior yearbook and it still stands out in my mind as one of the most romantic letters I've ever received. Now shhhh, don't tell my husband. :)

[ccr in MA]

As a teenager I wrote an angsty letter to an author whose book had really reached me. He wrote a long letter back to me, and I was thrilled!