It's really hard to condense 16 years of history into one post *NOW WITH PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE*

As a self-proclaimed non-romantic, it amuses me that Dave and I will forever be labeled something as nauseatingly adorable as “high-school sweethearts.”

I suppose TECHNICALLY we can be labeled as such, after all, we did date in high school and the relationship lasted the better part of a year and we even went to prom together and would you believe that although I wore a very elegant, non-slutty, floor-length black dress with a white sash that tied in the back and hung almost to the floor, my completely-new-at-formal-occasions date told me it looked like toilet paper. TOILET PAPER. My prom date told me my dress LOOKED LIKE TOILET PAPER. And my date also DID NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH TELLING ME THAT.


[Ok, so I can't find a photo of the back of the dress, but here it is in full-frontal glory. Also, was I this puffy in high school? And was Dave REALLY THIS SKINNY? Apparently, YES.

Anyway, so the sash in question tied above the waist and was a chiffon-y material (in all likelihood, POLYESTER) so it was really light and flowy and... I guess tissue-like. But not BATH TISSUE-LIKE, I assure you.]

But wait, back to the beginning. Dave and I met in our church’s youth group when I was 14 and he was 16. We spent a lot of time together because, as was commonplace in the youth groups of yesteryear and possibly the youth groups of today except I am OLD so I don’t actually know, we kind of dated around. A lot. So it was only a matter of time before we ran out of options and had to give each other a shot, and so when we found ourselves single at the same time, he asked me out.

Our first date, in March of 1995, involved dinner at TGIFriday’s, a high school girls’ basketball game (I loathe basketball, the squeaking drives me absolutely insane), and then on the drive home we made a pit stop at Kmart so I could ride the mechanical horse out front for 25 cents. He paid for it all, opened the car door for me and didn’t think I was a complete and total psychopath for wanting to ride a miniature mechanical horse fifteen minutes before I had to be home for curfew on a Friday night. In summary: First date an enormous success.

We dated for almost a year and but broke up a few months before I went 700 miles away to college. It was totally my doing, I had these big, self-important ideas about College and What I Wanted To Do at College and Who I Wanted To Be at College, and the last thing I wanted was to be limited by my high-school boyfriend. I wanted freedom, and I wanted adventure; I wanted to be a 12-hour drive away from everything I was comfortable with and I didn’t want to have to answer to anyone about it. I didn’t want to be the girl who spent entire weekends making long-distance phone calls from her dorm room instead of having fun.

But it was never a clean break.

We still called each other, we still wrote letters, we still made plans to hang out and see each other when we were both home for Christmas break. We still had a connection, a really deep and honest connection. A connection that I think was pretty obvious to the people we had moved on to dating, as both my new boyfriend and his new girlfriend were adamant that we never hang out together. But it was impossible to be home from school and not see Dave; he had been my biggest cheerleader, my biggest fan, my biggest encouragement, my most understanding confidante. He still was. So we saw each other in secret. Well, ok, so we saw each other at the mall. But it was also usually the height of the Christmas shopping season, so everyone was way too busy buying lousy presents for their families to notice our Prohibited Togetherness.

And years passed, and although we never lost touch, we had less and less to say. There were a couple of years where we only saw each other briefly and learned about each other’s lives by questioning mutual friends in passing. And then, without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that there was a brief period of time where Dave got pretty seriously romantically involved with one of my very VERY best friends, and, uh, vice versa. AT THE SAME TIME.

Both of those people stood up with us at our wedding a few years later. THAT IS JUST HOW AWESOME OUR FRIENDS ARE.

Then, in my last semester of college, I got into a car accident and had to earn the last bit of my journalism degree, my internship, close to home, so I could a) live with my parents, and b) BORROW THEIR CAR TO GET THERE. And Dave was living and working here, and we just started casually hanging out again.

I kind of fell in love with him all over again within a few weeks. We were together all the time, meeting for lunch even though we worked 45 miles apart, going out to dinner and to movies, we went camping and to family functions together. But he continued to insist to everyone (his family, his friends, ME) that we were not dating. Internet, I do not have to tell you how awful it feels to be madly, head-over-heels in love with someone who OBVIOUSLY LOVES YOU BACK and yet is trying to remain Focused On His Career because he wants to Make Something Of Himself before he gets sidetracked by A Serious Relationship.

(That’s what he insists on, by the way, that he would not let himself date me because he knew in his heart that it would quickly escalate to marriage.)

So I got frustrated. And then my friend SLASH Dave’s ex-girlfriend called to tell me her roommate in Atlanta was moving out and asked me if I would be interested in moving down there with her and finding a job? And I was all, WHAT IS KEEPING ME HERE IN VIRGINIA? Certainly not a boy! SO I MOVED.

He was begging me to reconsider by the time I was unpacking boxes in my new apartment a couple of weeks later. And because I am stubborn and fiercely independent, I also renewed my lease when it came up six months later, even though by that time we were Officially Dating and also Spending Way Too Much Money With United Airlines. But you know, a girl can only hold off for so long, so after a year of long-distance dating, I moved back home and just a few months later we were engaged.

Clearly this is not one of those swoony, over-the-top, “when we met, I just KNEW he was the one, couldn’t you just VOMIT it’s so perfect” kind of stories. BUT THIS IS HOW I LIKE IT. I would have been very suspicious of that kind of mushy, gushy situation. I love that we have known each other forever, I love that we have mutual friends who remember our dorkier moments from way back when, I love that we met at our church because WOW, if there is one part of my life that I will be forever grateful isn’t complicated, it’s the Theology, Religion and Morals Sector.

And although I have never doubted our decision to be together for the rest of our lives, it certainly didn’t hurt that on my wedding day, I wore another dress with a sash that hung all the way to the floor, and all he said was, “You look beautiful.”

(Yeah. Anything about toilet paper and HELLO! ANNULMENT.)

You can see Dave holding onto the sash here, while I BREAK IT DOWN with his uncles at the reception:




And also, hey, while you were asking for wedding photos (TRUST ME, YOU WERE ASKING) here are a few more of my favorites:









And perhaps my very very favorite:

COULD HE BE ANY LESS INTO HIS NEW WIFE? I DON'T THINK SO.

Comments

[Mandi]

You left me wanting a picture of said wedding dress. And. The prom dress. Thankyouverymuch. (You tell a story about a dress that looks like toilet paper, and we don't even get to see it?)
BTW, it's a great story. Like a movie, I kept hoping you'd end up together, even though I actually knew that you would.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

This could have been my relationship. No, seriously. I mean, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SEAN AND DAVE IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME? It's awfully similar circumstances, is all I'm saying.

[Megan]

Yes, I'm with Mandi - we need pictures!

What a sweet story, though. I like it, and I hope you and Dave have many more wonderful years together.

[Rachel Lutterman]

that is a sweet story! That inspires me to write a post about how i went from a "me" to a "we."

[Emily]

I'll try to find and scan a couple of pictures this afternoon!

[Catherine]

That is a good story. I think I knew from the get-go that my husband and I would be together forever, and I might even have said we should get married only a few weeks into dating (I was INCREDIBLY drunk that night). We had our ups and downs though, and at one point he was in our kitchen (yes, we lived together in sin) and asked me if he needed to find somewhere else to live. Thankfully he didn't, and now we have a gorgeous 15 month old! Unfortunately, the hubby's in Iraq (for the second freaking time), so said 15 month old is my Valentine today. I hope you have a GREAT Valentine's Day with both of your boys!!

[Danielle]

I soooooo want to see that prom picture!!

[chatty cricket]

You guys rock. I love the story, it's so real life. :)

It reminds me of how Sweetie proposed to me while we were randomly sitting around our apartment eating pizza in our sweatpants. He had an entire elaborate plan all worked out for the next day that involved his parents (um?)and hiding the ring on a golf course so I'd find it in the hole after putting, but then he abandoned the dream and opted for pizza and our sweats because he said it just felt "more like us." He was so right. I love him.

[Tressa]

You're a great storyteller, Emily. Thanks for sharing-- and for answering my request :)

Now get your scanner cranking and show us some photos!!

[Susan]

That is a story for our times. Perfect for you and Dave. I love it. Happy Valentine's Day. I'm glad toilet paper was not brought up on your wedding day. You always make me laugh. Thank you!

[Tessie]

Well, I've read a lot of VD posts today and this one is by far my favorite. Great story.

[Christine]

Wow. I realize now that I love your blog because we are basically the same person- kind of scary actually how much we have in common!

By the way, what is it about church youth groups that encourages such rampant "dating around?" It sort of weirds me out thinking about it now, but we all dated everybody - sometimes more than once - and nobody thought twice about it. I'm glad I'm not the only one to have that experience.

And I, too, hate the term "high-school sweethearts." Just too cheesed for me, but a label I am stuck with as well. Maybe we can come up with a suitable alternative. I will get on that immediately and report back!

[Dr Maureen]

OK, FIRST of all, what is the "dating around" I hear of in church youth groups? *I* was in a church youth group, and no one dated ME. Granted, I was in the group 'round about the time I was some sort of nerd pariah in a teeny tiny itsy bitsy school and the CYO was just as teeny, so maybe they were all dating each other and left me out. Oh well, screw 'em.

SECOND of all, this post is very sweet in a non-vomitous way, and I am now inspired to write about how Andrew and I met, but I don't think I'll get it up by the end of Valentine's Day. _Lost_ is on tonight, after all.

[annie]

LOVE your story. Happy valentine's day.

[Molly]

It's a great story! And I would LOVE to see a picture of both dresses...

[chirky]

Despite your few attempts to mask it, your story is impossibly sweet.

[lissa]

That was a great story! So sweet. I wonder if the kids I taught in youth group will have a story like that.

[Kristin]

Awwww that's a great story! (And, I'm sorry, much more romantic than you seem to think.) It totally beats my story of meeting my husband at a college party and thank goodness I'd had a lot of jello shots or I never would have had the nerve to talk to him.
By the way, I love your new bedroom and I wish I could hire you to design my house. here's what happens when I try to paint: the hubby picks the color, "Hawaiian Passion," and despite my protests that it's way too bright, he insists. 2 months later I am NOT used to it and I still feel like my living room is the inside SpongeBob. so if I get ambitious enough to repaint the living room, do you think the color in your bedroom would look nice next to the color in your kitchen, which I also shamelessly stole from you? :)

[Angela]

What a truly fantastic story! Thank you so much for sharing.

And Happy Valentine's Day!

[Diane]

Such a sweet story, and quite similar to mine (complete with the mutual friend dating and moving away and being in love with my best friend who knew he loved me but had to be OH MY GOSH DEATHLY SURE because he couldn't hurt me and ... yeah, not about ME, this is YOUR blog.) So I'll stop now and wish you the happiest of Valentine's Days and be grateful that I'm not the only person in the world who has done things this way. :)

[Christy]

Oh my gosh, how cute are you??? What a lovely story, and fabulous pictures.

[JP]

What an awesome story. I am really impressed that you've remained friends with exes, too. Your wedding photos are gorgeous! Thanks for sharing.

[Dr Maureen]

Very pretty wedding dress! And your hair was so shiny!

I posted our story and tried really hard to encompass the whole relationship, but I was using this post as a barometer, and it kept falling short, because you did such a nice job with this one. And now it sounds like I'm sucking up, but I'm really not!

[JAB]

Great story and beautiful pictures!

[maggie]

I love this.

I totally know the whole "can't date you because dating = instant marriage and I have to have a careeeeeeeer" obnoxiousness. Although later he had to talk ME into getting married, because I had my own stubborn and independent and I'm not going to give up everything for a BOY obnoxiousness. Sigh.