I probably shouldn't buy reward candy that I like eating

We're potty training again!

Wait, you are... excited about it, aren't you? I mean, you guys are the whole reason I went so far as to use an exclamation point up there. I figured you couldn't WAIT to read some more in-depth analysis of my child's bathroom habits. I suppose if we're going to get technical, we can call them his EVERYWHERE habits since we now carry that potty from floor to floor and room to room. It is getting harder to let him use it in the living room because he has suddenly hit upon the concept of Privacy and wants me to leave him alone while he goes and where exactly am I supposed to go then? The KITCHEN? Where we keep the REWARD CHOCOLATE? Oh HECK no.

Anyway, we only started retrying the potty thing on Monday afternoon, and he isn't exactly thrilled about it, but he is being mildly cooperative and we've only had one accident. The accident scared the everloving CRAP out of me, truthfully, and not because he christened something important or expensive with urine; more because everyone assured me that all kids HATE the feeling of pee running down their legs and that that particular feeling would go a long way as far as encouraging them to want to use the potty and YET. Mine didn't even NOTICE. And when I pointed it out, he was all, So? What's the big deal? Can I get back to this video game I was playing or what?

And obviously that was my mistake – he's a rookie! I trusted his judgment WAY too early in the game; I should have interrupted him more than I did while he was playing and then I should have refused to believe him when he said he didn't need to pee. The weirdest thing, though, was when I pointed out the dribbles on his legs. I expected him to FLIP THE FREAK OUT based upon similar experiences we have had with liquidish substances; it is really really hard not to immediately place him on boarding school waiting lists or eBay when he gets a tiny smidge of yogurt on his finger (OH THE WOE AND TRAGEDY, also I HAVE TAUGHT YOU THE BEAUTY OF THE NAPKIN) and yet, no response at all to the pee. None. I am frightened by this, as you might imagine.

However! We forge ahead. We have stacks of freshly laundered underpants; we have potty chairs and potty seats; we have the promise of a ride on a steam train when he is daytime diaper-free. I'm afraid I didn't communicate the steam train deal very effectively when I first thought it up. I got him all excited about it and we showed the website to everyone he knew and I emphasized how FUN it would be for BIG KIDS to ride and then, after his first successful pee, he stood up triumphantly and declared, “It is time to ride the steam train!” Kid, we haven't even left the house in a pair of underpants yet. I'm not letting you leave a puddle of your DNA on the seat of a steam train.

We haven't had poop in the potty in weeks (WEEEEEKS) but we are finally moving past the anxiety he developed about it. Two weeks ago we were dealing with a kid who was holding it in for days at a time out of fear; in the last few days he has been telling me when he needs to go. We're at the point now where I gladly put a diaper on him and sequester him in the bathroom until he's finished. Last week it took him anywhere from twenty to thirty minutes to complete this... uh, task; yesterday he was done in under five. And without any of that running in circles and holding his butt thing that was SUCH A JOY to observe in public. Yes, he's wearing a diaper when he does it, but he's standing NEXT to a toilet, and on Friday he pooped in a public bathroom stall while I lurked outside it like a pedophile. I am trying to be patient. I think I am succeeding, for the most part. I know we will get there.

One of the hardest things about it is knowing how friggin' SMART this kid is. He can write his entire alphabet, he can spell probably ten to 15 words, he can count to 100 AND he has actually grasped the concept of numbers – give him two numbers and he can tell you which is bigger or smaller and he is also starting to understand some of the simpler concepts of addition and subtraction. He appears to have a very good-quality brain inside that skull, but the part that registers independence hasn't really kicked in yet. It's really annoying (yes, I said it: ANNOYING) when BOTH my children decide they're going through a separation-from-mommy anxiety phase, and it would be SO helpful if Asher was willing to play alone in his room for a bit of time, or even let me go downstairs to transfer wet clothes to the dryer without a full-on panic attack. On days when he doesn't nap, he is glued to my side for twelve straight hours and it is no coincidence that on those days I am busting out three liqui-gels of Advil by 2pm.

Oh, goodness, I am going to start getting REAL EXTRA-COMPLAINY if we continue in this vein, so how about some pictures of my hair?

I was Twittering about this the other day, how I decided to let my hair air dry to see if it was remotely attractive and something I'd like to try on a regular basis and none of you believed me when I said it was bad but YOU GUYS, HERE IS PROOF THAT IT WAS BAD:

 
(Also, please note what appears to be my Man Hand holding the camera.)

I don't like it like this. Granted, I didn't have any appropriate hair products on hand, so I made do with some cheap mousse, so how much could I have really expected? Maybe I'm just too used to seeing it straight. The other annoying thing is that four entire hours after my shower, it was STILL WET. 

I have thick, wavy, sometimes curly hair, and I've wanted to try hot rolling it at this new length, but the problem lies in the fact that when I flat iron my hair first (and I flat iron it every day, because I am terrible at blow drying it straight, it just turns into frizz, not to mention MY ARMS GET SO TIRED), it won't hold curl. So I let it air dry, decided it was heinous, and then hot rolled it with rollers I've had since the early 90s.

I think the results were WAY better than the air drying situation:

 
But I still don't know if it looks too... I don't know, 1980s? I mean, I know the '80s are back or whatever, but this is less FUNKY '80s and maybe more like my mom's '80s experience was. Right? Wrong? I don't know. Do you like it?

Comments

[Angela]

I think your hair looks great both ways, no lie. The picture where it is just air dried looks like the hair of an actress- seriously. I know that sounds very dramatic, but it looks like pictures in magazines where you know it took a stylist hours to create it.

Best of luck with the potty training. We had a similar hiatus, and the second time it worked like a charm. :-)

[Shannon]

I think your hair is WAY cute, air dried and hot rolled! And no, it's not too '80s at all. You are lucky to have hair that can work so many ways. I'm jealous!

And regarding the potty training part, my experience is, just wait until they are ready. You'll know when he's ready. I tried a good 3 times with my daughter before she was really ready because she showed maybe one or two signs but had absolutely no luck. Just like Asher she would watch the pee run down her leg, and not even care. But once she showed several signs, we attempted and... SUCCESS! I bet it is frustrating knowing he's so smart and that he understands the concept of using the bathroom, he's just not quite there yet. Even more so since you have another in diapers as well. But don't worry, he'll get it. I promise!

[Raven]

Oh honey! I WISH my hair looked that good when I air dry it. My hair is at least 5 times the volume and scraggly looking. You have some great hair is what I'm saying.

I'll take a picture of my air dried hair someday but wow is it ever bad.

The only time it looks okay air dried is if I sleep on it, then somehow the humidity doesn't make it crazy. I don't know why that works.

[amanda]

Your hair really does look great both ways and I am jealous. I have super-straight hair and when I let it air dry it's just so incredibly flat and sticking to my head. Oh, we all want the things we don't have hair-wise, huh? Loved the title of this post - I think I've eaten about four pounds of M&Ms since I started potty training my daughter, no lie.

[Shannon]

Ok, the hot rolled hair is a little better. But the air dried hair looked totally fine! I honestly have no idea why you think it looks bad!

[Courtney]

I cheated and saw your tweet and skipped to the pics--maybe I'm '80's (or a child of), but I love your hair!! What's the problem? I guess I need to read your post. If your hair looks bad, then mine is horrific.

[Elsha]

I like the hair both ways. Seriously. I'd tell you if I didn't.

[Jenn]

The second picture does look kind of prom-y, but I would kill (maybe not kill, but maim? Slap?) for picture 1.

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

If you think that hair looks bad, were you just, like, REPULSED by mine? I mean, really, the whole air dried thing is sort of a ROUGH SUBJECT as you can imagine with my style of hair, because I'd basically shave my entire head bald if my hair would look like that for one darn minute. You're adorable.

[She Likes Purple]

Seriously, before I read the post, I thought you had used Whoorl's strategy for the air-drying picture. It looks fantastic.

[Maren]

AIR DRY (except for that annoying still-wet thing. grrr)

[shannonr]

The air dry picture is cute. I even like it better than the second picture. If anything, I would just blow dry the very top front section (just the hair close to your scalp at your hairline), to get a cleaner part, and it's great!

[Rachel]

Seriously, if my hair looked that good when I let it air dry I would throw my blow dryer out the window. Totally jealous.

My daughter also didn't even seem to notice that she had an accident -- we were dumbfounded. However, the first time she actually had an accident and looked up and realized it was a MAJOR turning point for us!

[divrchk]

It looks amazing air dried - are you kidding that you think it looks bad?

[Trilby]

I think both hair pictures look great.

No, seriously. :)

[Jen @ lifelove'n'wine]

Honestly? I LOVE picture #1...I think it looks gorgeous! Picture #2 is pretty but a little too curly or something I think. Love love love the first look!

[chatty cricket]

Ok the HAIR. Let's start with THE HAIR.

Any time you think you are done with having to put up with that "awful" air dried "situation"? Please to feel free to send it my way. I also LOVE it after the hot rollers. Not 80's in the least. Gorgeous. Love.

Your son? I am convinced he is BRILLIANT. Like, those "My Baby Can Read" babies? Have NOTHING on him. I'm not blowing smoke, as you well know I am a parents of three with a fourth in production and so CLEARLY this makes me a HIGHLY TRAINED EXPERT.

I also think that kids develop at all totally different paces in all of the millions of different areas you could possibly imagine. A friend and I were just talking about this earlier today, actually.

Like, some kids don't walk until they're five, but started speaking in full polite sentences when they're three months. Dude, it's just the way you develop. Asher will get the potty when he's ready to get it (and OBVIOUSLY he is making HUGE STRIDES already!)(I appreciate the exclamation point!), and his independence will come. I think kids can get throw for a loop when they're hitting milestones, and can have minor regressions that are easy to rebound from. Like sleep regressions before big milestones, you know what I mean? I've noticed Lady (4.5 yrs) has EMOTIONAL regressions when she hits key milestones.

Frustrating? YOU FARKING BET. But I'm starting to figure out that she gets over it and it's not a permanent crisis. So, hang in there is what I'm saying....

[Meaghan]

I wish my hair looked that good air dried. I am jealous.

[Lauren]

You should seriously air dry your hair every day. I couldn't believe it when I saw that you disliked it so much, because when I was looking at that photo, I was wishing I could get my hair to do that. Seriously. AIR DRY. The rollers look a little too prom to me as well, but it's not like it looks bad. I just think the natural look is beautiful. SERIOUSLY!

[Michele]

I love both styles, really. IMO, #1 is perfect for everyday, in fact I'd love to wear my hair like that for work. I hate putting a lot of work into my hair, so as nice as #2 is, #1 would be perfect for me. My hair is nearly stick straight, with a couple of cowlicks that give it just a bit of wave that it doesn't hold as it dries. *grr* Good luck finding something that you like, I hate it.

For potty training, the only advice is something you figured out for yourself. Don't trust him - "make him" take a potty break every 30 minutes or so. Oh, keep an eye on how much he goes. My son, and his friend at daycare, figured out the reward system. They'd get on the potty, pee a little to get their "M", then finish in their training pants - and we weren't using pull ups. Boys will be boys!

[Sheila]

I think your hair looks PERFECT air dried! Fructis Garnier makes some really great (inexpensive!) products for waves and curls.

And I am always impressed by anybody that can stand to straighten their hair on a regular basis... it takes me forEVer.

[Dr. Maureen]

OMG, Emily, your hair looks AWESOME when you air dry it. I am seething with jealousy, because mine looks like... it looks bad. And yet! I air dry it every day because I am long overdue for a haircut and I can't muster the energy to blow dry it when I'm this overdue. It's too bad, because it's just when I need to blow it dry the most desperately. Ah well, such is the life of a lazy woman.

But still! Air drying! Looks amazing! I will concede that it looks prettier after the hot rollers, though.

[Tessie]

Oh, you are SO BEAUTIFUL!! I love it both ways. I really do.

[Julie]

I actually like the air dried version of your hair better! It totally looks like those "beachy-waves" that everyone tries so hard to create. I can tell that you have more volume on top in the hot rollers picture, which is definitely nice, but I like the more natural waves vs. the hot rolled ones. I, too, feel like that is more "mom 80s-or early 90s-reminiscent".

[Candice]

I actually prefer the air-dried version, quite a lot. I wish my hair air dried like that!!