Humor Genius

Have you seen that commercial for the next episode of House? I mean, I don't watch House – not regularly, at least, though sometimes if I'm flipping through channels I'll stop and watch because I have this weird fascination with British people doing believable American accents – but the ad was on during a football game, and I wasn't really paying attention until Dave said, “Hold on a minute... did you see that?” and pressed rewind on the DVR so we could watch it together. The gist of the episode seems to be that House shows up at an '80s theme party in a powdered wig and frilly blue costume, because he's dressed as though he's from the 1880s. Get it? It's still an eighties costume! JUST FROM THE WRONG CENTURY!

“That's YOUR joke!” Dave exclaimed. And he is RIGHT.

Back in my junior year of high school, which I'm sad to tell you was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, our youth group held a '60s theme night, and there was a prize up for grabs for best costume. So I wore a big, floor-length patchwork skirt and a pair of boots and a ruffly blouse and a bonnet – YES, A BONNET – and went from the 1860s. People, it was the BEST COSTUME OF THE NIGHT, but I was disqualified because it was “understood” that we were talking the NINETEEN SIXTIES, even though no one had actually specified it.

My mouth hung open. “I must be a humor GENIUS,” I said to Dave. To have made a joke that well-paid television series writers came up with? And to have done it fifteen years ago? WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN? Why did I not get offered a free ride to HUMOR WRITING COLLEGE? If a place like that EVEN EXISTS?

And then Dave said, “That's why I fell in love with you,” and I don't know about you, but any man who professes to have been attracted to you simply because you wore a bonnet to a public function for the sole purpose of creating a scene and making people laugh is a keeper. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the only reason he fell in love with me (in high school I also lost a bet once that resulted in my wearing a camouflage hunting outfit out in public, complete with orange netted cap, sure to make a man's heart skip a beat) but it's good to know that if I continue to act like just like myself, he will most likely stick with me. And he will LIKE IT.

Sometimes I think he's got a screw loose, but whatever. Dude thinks I'm hot in a bonnet. Guess it doesn't hurt that I'm a humor genius, too.

In other news, and I Twittered this earlier so excuse the repeat if you already heard, but about a half-hour into what was supposed to be Asher's nap this afternoon, Dave heard him calling from his room. So he went in to see what the problem was, and Asher actually requested some pants. I had put him down for his nap in just a shirt and a diaper, and he wanted PANTS. Pants! And Dave had to put them on him! While he laid in bed! JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER. It was almost the most hilarious thing I'd heard all week, and then I remembered I had explained the word “booty” to Asher the other night.

I try to video the cutest parts of my day, so that I can watch them and remind myself they actually DO exist after watching one of my offspring throw a shoe at the other one's head.

Comments

[Surge]

"Hhahaa.. ah. He's a man, he takes things literally."

AMEN

[vague]

So cute. I bet he grows up to be a humor genius, too.

[Swistle]

DISQUALIFIED? That's ridiculous. You should have gotten BONUS POINTS. Also, these were judges for a (1) YOUTH GROUP (2) COSTUME PARTY----did they perhaps think they were judging an Olympic event and needed to use Rigorous Guidelines of Understoodness?

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

"He's a man. He takes things literally." I love it. You kill me. And yes, you are DEFINITELY a humor genius.

[Tiah]

LOL

[ANNIE]

Dear Humor Genius, that kid's got MOVES. What a cute little booty shaker. And I love his jammies.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

I cannot watch House simply BECAUSE I cannot deal with the fact that here is a famous British actor doing an American accent and I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL. I mean, never mind the fact that NONE of it is real, OBVIOUSLY, since it's a TV SHOW, I just cannot get past the fact that Hugh Laurie is FAKING his accent. (And to me it sounds awful, but I'm probably more critical than most.)

[Catherine]

My little boy has those pajamas and I call them his old man pajamas. So cute! When my son shakes his booty, he bends over and moves his arms back and forth really fast, and barely moves his butt. It's hilarious.

[Jason Conley]

If memory serves me right, back in college I believe you and Katie Orr dressed up as 80 year olds for an 80's party as well?

[Crystal]

The best part of this video (for me, at least) was the soundtrack. The Jets "Crush on You" used to be my jam back in the day of roller skate parties.

But, also, your kid is delightful and hilarious. :)

[Angie]

Oh, fantastic video : ) Thomas wants to w

[Angie]

Oops...sorry about that. Thomas pushed enter. Anyway, Thomas wants to watch it again. Also, did I hear a snort? : )

[PomJob]

Speaking of funny outfits, did someone say "wetsuit"?

And you were totally robbed in 11th grade.

[A'Dell]

I love how he is very deliberately and specifically shaking just his booty. It's like, "I want to shake my booty and NOTHING ELSE."

Ha! I cannot wait to teach Claire this.

[Marjorie]

As someone who lived with you for two years in college, I can agree that you are a humore genius!! What makes it better is that you don't try too hard to be funny, you just are. That's just part of the Emily charm. :)

[Laura]

Dearest Humor Genius,

I remember that 1860s outfit! I, too, thought it was hilarious and that you should have won the contest. And Swistle, yes, our youth group was all about "Rigorous Guidelines of Understoodness."

[Megan]

WETSUIT!

I totally lol'ed at your take on the '60s party. Heh. You should have won, too!

[halloweenlover]

He is actually a really good dancer! At least, compared to Gabe he is.

Also, is it terrible that I feel much better when I hear about your son torturing his sister? It makes me feel like my kid isn't a sociopath when he shakes his sister or lays on top of her to smoosh her. It is SO FRUSTRATING!

Have you heard any good advice on how to get them to stop?

[Aunt Becky]

I demand a RECOUNT! Also, I DEMAND A RECOUNT! You are obviously a genius!

[ali]

I am taking serious issue with the fact that you were disqualified.
I call shenanigans on the whole thing. You are a genius.

[Lizzie]

"This, your booodee!" LOVE! Lucy keeps asking for "Mo! Mo! Mo!" She's digging the moves on that boy.

[daysgoby]

Truly, you deserve some sort of FANCY ROSETTE for that. Although after all these years, I'm not sure you'd really want it....

[barbetti]

Oh, I love little toddler speak. That was adorable.

[Leighann Marquiss]

i already knew you were a humor genius!!

[Manda]

Oh my gosh I miss your snort-laugh!! Also, the other day I told someone your "Dada has TWO wangs" story and I though they were going to hyperventilate. HAAA! Oh dear. I might need to change MY pants now. You think Dave is available? JUST KIDDING.