Things I've Been Thinking About

* * * Taking this one step too far: I created a Facebook group called People Who Shower Correctly. JOIN ME IN FIGHTING THIS INJUSTICE. * * *

Try to remember the last shower-related product you saw advertised on television. Body wash, soap, shampoo—anything. Now do me a favor and also try to remember the way that product was being modeled for you. Can you see it? It starts with some sudsy brawny man or toothpick woman, right? And they’ve got their eyes closed, their heads tilted back, some smirky little half-smile… and what else? What else are each and every one of them doing?

I’ll tell you! They’re showering while FACING THE SHOWERHEAD. And they’re making it look downright ENJOYABLE.

I personally do not shower while facing the showerhead. I do all my lathering with my BACK to the showerhead, and even most of my RINSING with my back to the showerhead, turning to face the showerhead only when I need to do something very specific to the front of my body, like get soap off my face or shampoo out of my eyes. Otherwise, I don’t enjoy like the idea of standing there and getting sprayed in the face for the duration of my shower.

This topic is not something I’ve ever discussed with anyone. So it is entirely possible that 99 percent of the human population chooses to shower FACING the showerhead (honestly, I JUST CAN’T IMAGINE) and I am just the tiniest minority. But something tells me this is not the case; in fact, I boldly proclaim that the Shower Product Advertising People are being downright exclusionary in their pictorial representation of How Americans Shower. Are they trying to PUSH their showerhead ideals on the general American public? Are they out to make us feel inadequate or of low stature because of the way we like to cleanse ourselves? Which is WITHOUT WATER IN OUR FACES? (Or also, without streams of water hitting us directly in the nipples? Dude, that HURTS when you’re pregnant.)

I am putting my foot down, Shower Product Advertising People! I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do, but it is going to be important, and earth-shattering, and will result in realistic advertising standards! Perhaps this means I will start a Facebook group dedicated to People Who Shower Facing The Wall, NOT THE SHOWERHEAD, and well, YOU HEARD ME. EARTH-FREAKING-SHATTERING.

Please let me know how you prefer to shower in the comments. I would appreciate that. I need to know if I’m even MARGINALLY correct about this. If I’m not, I will apologize.

Also, may I also just wonder aloud: Do you think television news will ever move past the point where the reporters have to act like they’re just having an everyday conversation about the murder rate with SOLELY each other? Like the television audience doesn’t even exist? Even though, HELLO, here we are, watching and simply being the reason you’re even on the air in the first place?

When you step back and think about it, it sounds completely ridiculous: “Well, Maureen, tonight we have an amazing tale of two conjoined dogs who were separated during a thirteen-hour surgery.” Maureen, let me sit here and tell you, JUST YOU, EVEN THOUGH I’M LOOKING DEAD INTO A CAMERA, about these two amazing dogs. Let’s pretend like those millions of people who are watching us aren’t even there, like, AT ALL, and let’s just talk to each other like we’re the only two people in the universe who are privileged to know the tale of these TWO AMAZING DOGS. Back to you, Steve!

This never bothered me before, but suddenly it has become MY OBSESSION, and I cannot make it through one newscast/morning program without wanting to scream like a crazy person at the television. Something along the lines of, “I’m RIGHT HERE, so quit acting like I DON’T EVEN EXIST.” And there’s no real solution, either, because its not like I want Meredith Vieira talking directly TO me through the television, hello, AWKWARD, but I still think something must be done. SOMETHING. Like, maybe another Facebook group? I know, I know. EARTH-SHATTERING.

Finally, something else I thought about a lot was how much I hate Asher’s toy box. I picked it up at a yard sale for $30, and it’s wood, and it’s nice, and it has these hinges that hold the lid open so it won’t slam down on his little fingers, but it’s Just Not Me. It's very traditional, and kind of boxy, and well, honestly, I HATE IT. But I figured I would Just Deal, because, hey, $30 is a BARGAIN, and maybe I could spruce it up with some paint or something, you know, when I have a free minute or two. (HA.)

But then yesterday on our walk, we passed a store that was going out of business and that was selling all its completely untouched furniture. And I saw this (in red! In perfect condition!), and I FELL IN LOVE. And I bought it for $20 and now I have every reason in the world to get rid of the other one.

So. Uh, anyone need a toy box?

Comments

[Stacie]

I most definately shower with my back to the water. Not only because I don't want water in my face the whole time, but my nipples (gross word) are sensitive and it hurts to have the beads of water spraying on them ( I know TMI but it's true) throughout the whole shower. I never really thought about the news anchors talking to each other instead of the audience, but now that's all I'll notice.

[Becky]

Oh- I totally agree with you! I ALWAYS shower facing away from the water.

Along the same topic... I can't STAND IT when face-wash commercials show people washing their face by splashing handfuls of water on themselves while standing upright. Where does all that water go? Do they like getting water all over the floor and the wall behind them?!

Maybe I should start a facebook group... :)

[Tessie]

I have not thought about the shower thing before, but you are SO RIGHT!

I don't know about you, but one of my main purposes for being in the shower to begin with is washing my hair, and who can do THAT facing the showerhead, huh? WHO?

Also, water pelting the nipples (SORRY!), pregnant or no, is one of those things that advertising execs (slash MEN) THINK must be relaxing, but is, in fact, the OPPOSITE of relaxing.

[Meghan]

I shower with my back to the water. Doesn't everybody?

[Jess]

Ok. Delurking to say that I most definitely face away from the shower spray, mostly because I HATE getting water in my eyes and nose. But. I will admit that I occasionally face the shower head and pretend to be in a soap/shampoo commercial. I'll swing my long flowing locks (read: short, volumeless hair) behind my shoulders and grin like it's a mini shower orgasm. And then I'll choke and sputter and cough up all the water I just inhaled, and realize what an idiot I am. Sheesh. Now I'm embarrassed.

[Superfantastic]

It appears that you and I are not as completely in synch on bathroom-related issues as we had thought. I face the shower head and only turn away to rinse my hair or shave my legs. I just fix the shower head so that the water hits me pretty much square in the sternum. I hadn't ever thought about advertisers validating my shower-facing preferences, but it is kind of nice to know that I am doing it correctly.

[Someone Being Me]

I have wondered the exact same thing about showering too. Why is it that in movies and commercials they all face the showerhead? I also face away. Glad I am not the only one. It's not something you really ask others.

[Lacey]

Not only do I not face the water, but I sit down. For whatever reason if I get in the shower first thing in the morning, I just don't have the energy to stand there. The thing that annoys me most is how excited they are and how much they seem to enjoy the shower. I like being clean and all, but it doesn't send me in to the ecstasy they seem to be having. I never watch the news. I would rather read it, that way I can pick and choose what I want to know. So that one is not a problem for me. It's funny the little irks that people have.

[Amber]

I also face away from the shower head. I have never thought about this until now, those people in commercials have no idea what they are doing!

[Karly]

I definitely face away from the water. I also pee while I'm in the shower. I know you didn't ask, but I'm sure you were wondering.

[Dr. Maureen]

"And they’ve got their eyes closed, their heads tilted back, some smirky little half-smile… and what else? What else are each and every one of them doing?"

I can't be the only one whose mind went to the gutter with that question. That said, I let the shower hit me in the back.

And did you use my name as the example anchorperson because you are feeling a little guilty about ignoring me? Hmmmm?

[Monica]

I am a water-facer. However my favorite is the hand held nozzle so I can direct the water only in the location that I want it to go. That's kind of weird too now that I think about it. (My husband likes the rain shower but I always feel like I'm drowning.)

And I will totally take that toy box off your hands - can come by & get it any time!! I have spent 17+ months looking for one I like. Since I haven't had any luck, I will take a free one in a second.

[DeeMarie]

I also face away from the showerhead. I don't understand how you can stand there smiling, while you're being pelted in the face.

And I have to totally agree with Becky's comment about face-washing. If I just splash water it usually a)doesn't take the soap off and b)ends with me having water all over my shirt and down my arms!

[Wickedly Scarlett]

You can mark me down as another person who showers with her back to the shower head. You know what else is annoying? When people wash their faces in commercials, and they lean over this pristine white sink full of water and take this huge handful of the water and splash it in a tossing fashion all over their face and the surrounding area. It's all very lovely and refreshing looking in slow motion like that, but it is not the most effective way to wash ones face. Or keep one's bathroom floor dry.

[karin]

i'm definitely a face-the-wall kinda gal. i absolutely despise getting water on my face, so watching people shower facing the water makes me uncomfortable. my ex used to do it all the time though. he said it was refreshing.

[slynnro]

Uh, what? I face the water. As do the people I took a quick poll of in the office. And uh, everyone else I've ever seen in the shower or been in the shower with (WHICH IS NOT MANY PEOPLE).

[thegirlwho]

Definitely a water-facer. Only turn away to rinse hair or shave legs.

[divrchk]

I have thought about the shower thing. i face away from the shower head. My 5 year old son has started taking showers and I'm teaching him to do it this way. I tell him to walk backwards into the water and put his head back/look up to rinse out the shampoo. This is the proper way to shower.

[rebekah]

I like the commercials about what motherhood does to your hair. Those women don't take any showers in the commercials. What mother has the time?

[Christina]

As a water-facer, I totally thought I'd be in the majority... apparently this is not the case. I mean, are your shower heads set to "Power Wash" or something? Maybe I just have a wussy shower (although, if that were the case, this mess of hair on my head would never get clean) but I never feel as though I'm being pelted.

I am going to have to try this wall-facing thing. I'm not sure I'm smart enough to figure out how to get myself clean when I feel like I'm doing everything backwards ;)

[Steph]

I always face away from the water. It's so annoying otherwise. I always assumed most people do it this way, apparently I was wrong!! Someday, I want a shower with the water streaming down from overhead...then it dosn't matter which way you face!

[Kelly]

OK, so I worked as a news anchor for a CBS affiliate (until I had my kid and quit my job- TV jobs are hell for family life). ANYWAY, I hear you on the "ignoring the viewer" thing. It always bugged the crap out of me.

It also bugged me everytime another anchor would say, Thank you, Steve! to the reporter. HELLO, it's his JOB. He's not doing you a favor, Mr. News Anchor. And chances were, you weren't even listening to his report to even know what you are thanking him FOR. Anway, rant over.

And I, too, face away from the showerhead. Sensitive nipples unite!!

[Zoo]

I am delurking because your post reminded me of something I had forgotten - when I was a child and graduated to showers from baths, I asked my mom if I was doing it wrong because I faced away from the water and everyone on TV faced the water. :P So, I'm a Water Facer Away-er and proud of it. :D

[Jessica]

I mostly shower with my back to the water, but occasionally don't mind facing the water.

I love Asher's new toy box, very cute! Hope you're able to find a new home for the older one. :)

[Mims]

Yep, I face away from the water, too. In addition to all the reasons you mentioned, for some reason I feel COLDER if I am facing the shower and I HATE feeling cold in the shower. My showers have to be hot, hot, hot. And I incrementally increase the temp as I go so at the end it is about like a hot tub. I know, I know - dries out the skin. But I don't care!