Mountaintop to valley

You know how when something really awesome happens, it seems like everything else around you falls into the toilet? WELCOME TO MY LIFE. It is pelting me with lemons and I have nothing with which to squeeze them for your stupid proverbial lemonade.

I don’t have to tell you how awesome it was to watch total strangers rally around your friends and provide much-needed moral and monetary support. Aren’t you tired of my incessant glee? Do you want me to stop thanking you already, FOR PETE'S SAKE? Maybe instead, you want to hear about the sucktastic side of things for a change!

Well, for starters, I got into a huge fight with my husband. Then we were contacted by a debt collection agency for an unpaid $50 power bill from SIX YEARS AGO. Oh! And then I ate sixteen thousand brownies and my pants got kind of tight. And then I started my period, and my pants were STILL TIGHT, so it was totally the brownies’ fault. And then! Then in the midst of last week’s Fundraising Madness I totally forgot a work deadline (uh… or three) and got a very stern warning-slash-“we’re VERY disappointed in your performance” email from my usually very kind and understanding boss and nothing feels quite so awful as letting people down does. Except maybe walking the dog while sobbing about the fight with your husband. Can you believe I still tried to smile and say hello to people the entire time? WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS? They all looked kind of frightened, if I am being honest.

The good news is that a) Dave and I made up, b) the brownies are gone (unfortunately, not because I threw them away, because I ATE THEM ALL), c) the pants feel looser (this is just because I haven’t washed them so they’re all stretched out but I DON’T CARE ANYMORE) and d) I wrote a long apologetic email to my boss and even though I probably shouldn’t have mentioned anything about why I missed those deadlines, I went ahead and did it anyway. But I was very contrite and sincere about it so here’s hoping that turns out ok. Sadly, nothing can be done about the debt collection situation. (Enter Brownies As Solution.)

Also in the Helping Me Feel Better category was that we spent a lot time with friends over the weekend, and Dave and I officially started the Office Remodel project that I’ve been dying to start ever since I thought of it two weeks ago. I think I posted about the Office Remodel on my Parents blog and not here, so for those of you who are Officially Uninformed, what we’re doing is converting our home office into a playroom for Asher so that a) there won’t be as much plastic crap in the living room, b) he’ll be more adjusted to the idea of making it his bedroom whenever baby number two disrupts our entire household with all the screaming/crying/never sleeping, and c) hopefully I will be able to do some sporadic work in the bedroom while Asher plays in the playroom on the same level of the house. (Option C is a long shot, I get that, but a long shot I am willing to try for.)

Dave has been great about throwing things away. I am really proud of him for that, seeing as how he’s been holding on to about sixteen computer keyboards and three monitors for the last five years. That’s the problem with these IT-type people, they hold onto extra computer parts like your grandma holds onto bread bags. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO WITH THEM. But then Dave found this entire box of his old daily logs and calendars from his old job and I quickly advised him to throw them out because really? Your old calendars from work? Your To Do Lists and such? There is no room in my house for THOSE.

Except then I found a pile of MY old calendars and date books and even though I wanted to keep them REALLY REALLY BADLY, I am proud to tell you that I went ahead and made myself throw them out on principle. In other words, I threw them out because it is really wrong of me to think my own stuff is more important than Dave’s just because it is mine. I knew Dave would never miss those calendars. I knew I would never miss my old stupid calendars. But the epiphany was realizing that a lot of times, I consider myself and my stuff to be more important than him and his stuff. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Selfish and awful and WRONG.

And now that I’ve told you this, you’re not so surprised about that big hideous fight we had, are you?

But if you do remain sorry for me in some minor way, can I just ask you not to send any brownies? My hindquarters thank you.

Comments

[Swistle]

But brownies are the BEST solution! Are you SURE you don't want more? You'll have room for the pan now that all those keyboards are gone.

[Katie]

You often talk about throwing away huge amounts of stuff... do you ever recycle?

[Jessi]

I feel your pain - I have a husband who is also a computer collector (hoarder)...we are having our first baby in September, and when cleaning out the baby's room, we removed AT LEAST 4 - 5 computers, monitors and all...he insists those old Apple computers are going to be worth something someday, but right now, they are very bulky space wasters!

[Janssen]

Oh, I hate that "everything else in the toilet" thing. It's the worst! Glad things are looking up a bit, even if the brownies are gone.

[Emily]

I, too, am married to an IT guy and you're so right. We have mountains (MOUNTAINS!) of computer crap laying around (albeit mostly in the garage), just because it might be useful someday. Know what else is useful? Space to park your car. *sigh*

[Shanna]

Ugh, I hate those blowout fights that just drain everything out of you. I am happy that you have made up, even if an entire pan of brownies had to be sacrificed! And don't worry too much about the stupid $50 debt, if you ever need to refinance or something a fault that small is usually forgiven anyhow. But do pay it because it will save you a lot of headaches! Anyways, it is a new day... things will improve!

[maggie]

I've helped Phillip attempt to clean up his office about 18 times and it still looks like the place computers go to die. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM? I've stopped going in there because I just don't want to know anymore.

[Megan]

I had one of those blow-up fights with The Spouse recently, and like you, I went for a walk. I felt quite tragic and soap-operaish seeing people out-and-about and smiling through my tears. I'm sure quite a few of them saw me and thought "Bitch crazy - lock the doors!"

And yes, brownie therapy is the best.

[GirlHouse]

Just make sure the bill is from a valid collection agency. We've gotten a couple of "bills" in the mail from a fake agency!! So happy my husband thought to google the place before I put a check in the mail!
---And the office thing---I get ya!!

[Emily]

Katie - "throwing away" is just my blanket term for "getting rid of." We donate most of what what I say we throw away.

[Megan]

One more thing about the spouse who never throws things away. My husband is sentimentally attached to desks and other things from his family. I can see keeping one, but we have no reason to keep two desks and assorted chairs and whatnot that are broken. Our house can only hold so much!

[Katie]

Thanks for clarifying "throwing away" for me, Emily. What about all of the magazines, calendars, and memos that can't really be donated, though? Do you recycle those?

[Moose]

Oh, the dreaded crying while walking down the street and hoping no one notices. I actually ran into a COWORKER while doing that a few weeks ago. It was awkward - until she suggested placing raw chicken parts in the light fixtures as pay back. (I didn't do it.) (Because I am mature.) (And out of chicken.)

[Moose]

P.S. I'm so glad you feel better now. I'll toss out my tater tots, if you toss out your brownies. (Wonders if subsequent life will be worth living.)

[Amanda]

I just ate a cream cheese frosting covered brownie and some sort of really tasty brownie coconut chocolate chip thingie from a bake sale... if it makes you feel any better. And my husband is very much the same - on hoarding ridiculously useless computer parts and cords. We actually had two boxes of cords. Totally ridiculous. So yeah, if any of that makes you feel any better. And my pants, oh lord, they're tight... but I'm pregnant, so that's becoming the norm around here.

[rockmama]

Bread bags? THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD FOR KEEPING YOUR SHAMPOO FROM EXPLODING ALL OVER YOUR LUGGAGE WHEN YOU GO ON AN AIRPLANE. No joke, I can't tell you how many times my jeans were totally saved from soapy oblivion by bread bags.

There's obviously something wrong with me.

[annie]

We have a pan of brownies sitting on the stove AS WE SPEAK. Dangerous territory, I tell ya.

Anyway. Arguments don't happen all that often around here - I can probably count on one hand the total fights we've had since we've known each other - but we had a huge one recently too. I think that every so often things just boil over. Glad to hear that you guys have found your groove again.

You inspired me to pare things down as I was cleaning out our own den today. And, I have to say, there are some things I didn't recycle.

[my life is brilliant]

I totally keep old calendars too. I have no idea why. I'm now inspired to throw them out ...

[Tara $]

Just how many of those calendars of yours that you RECYCLED were Mr. Winkle Calendars? And I wouldn't worry about the work thing. They should know it is not a habit. It's ok to fight--as long as the love is there.

[natala]

hey on that old debt.. see if this applies:
http://wtop.com/?nid=97&sid=1378568

[chatty cricket]

ARGH! This must have been the week(end) to get into a riproaring fight with your husband, because I know I certainly got into one with mine. A BIG ONE with lots of yelling and weeping that surely makes the neighbors think I'm psychotic. It was terrific.

Fortunately we also made up.

[jenn]

Ugh. Those huge blowout fights are the WORST. Afterwards I too take walks with tears streaming down my face. My neighbors think I'm crazy. Chocolate therapy in general is a fabulous idea.

Your post is making me want to tackle the guest room closets...you can't open them without crap falling out...it's bad.

[BA]

Ok - this is totally off topic, but it was a PITA to try to comment on your Parents website. I just bought my very active (like Asher) son the Little Tykes bounce house from walmart for $180. It's about 10x10 with a slide and sets up and puts away in 5 minutes. Best thing I could have ever done. He wears his ass out in that thing. It says 3-8, but my 2 year old is fine in it. You can always sit in there with them, too. GREAT way to get outside and release some energy (for him at least).

[Karen]

IT-manned girlfriend signing in!
He has something like 14 computers in his hours alone- or was it 19? 8 or 9 are in the basement. Six are in use.

Me? I love horses but do you see me hiding 9 of them in the basement?

Okay, okay. I totally would if I could :)

[Amanda Brown]

We are going to have to convert Steve's "office" (which is a lousy excuse for a catch-all that is packed floor to ceiling with crap from his childhood and random things he just can't bring himself to throw away) and it's going to a gong show. Tears will be shed and I know we are going to butt heads about what needs to be tossed. I am looking forward to the end result but the thought of the process makes me want to, I don't know, eat some of those brownies you're talking about.