I wrote this last night but was too sore to press Publish

We accidentally left the jogging stroller out in the rain last night and even though it stopped drizzling around noon, the seat was still soaking wet at 4pm when it was time for our daily walk. In hindsight, I suppose there are numerous things I could have done to remedy the situation. I could have spread a towel over the seat. I could have blowdried it with the hairdryer. I could have dressed Asher in a ensemble fashioned out of water-resistant garbage bags before buckling him in, but instead I chose to strap him into the backpack. And then I had an even MORE interesting idea, which was to put the backpack ON MY BACK and to walk three entire miles with nearly 30 pounds strapped to my person.

I honestly didn't expect it to be much different than pushing all that weight in a stroller. Guess what? I was WRONG. My legs are kind of... angry with me. I suspect they're hatching a plan to fail me completely when it's time for me to pick myself up off this here couch and go upstairs to bed.

I'm actually kind of insulted by my body's reaction. You'd think after six months of rather strenuous daily exercise, I could throw a few more curveballs its way. But you'd be wrong, and instead, here I sit, achy and cranky and also kind of crooked because my kid preferred to lean to the left the whole time I was walking, probably because he couldn't see over my gigantic, bulbous, frizzy-haired head.

Asher loved it. He squealed for the entire first 15 minutes and that was truly something because this child? DOES NOT SQUEAL. Like, ever.

Until today, the longest amount of time he’s ever spent in the backpack was about 20 minutes. The backpack was a floor model clearance item and didn’t come with a sunshade, so I’ve been wary of taking him out in it this summer because he won’t let me put a hat on him. Also summer is kind of hot, yes? And I sweat enough as it is, so I cannot imagine the degree of sweating I might be capable of with a little child-furnace swathed in canvas and polyester attached to my body in 98-degree weather. Thankfully yesterday it was cool and misty and the sweating was kept to a relative minimum. That is, at a minimum FOR ME. When I got home I had achieved an elaborate sweat pattern in the exact shape of a backpack, complete with shoulder straps and waist belt. Alas, there is no photographic evidence. I know, I know. BOOOOOOO.

Anyway, aside from my aching legs, do you know what else was kind of insulting? We passed a man that we pass most days on our walk and today, as usual, I said hello and he said hello and then, because we were going opposite directions around a loop, we passed him again about 20 minutes later. And I said hello again and he said hello again and then he followed that up with, "You should really get one of those carriage-type thingys. So you could push him! It would be so much easier!"

Wait, WHAT? First of all, sir, with all due respect: it's called a STROLLER. And, um, second? We run into you nearly EVERY SINGLE DAY and we say hello EVERY SINGLE TIME, sometimes twice, even, and you seriously have not noticed that on every other occasion that we acknowledge each other, THAT I AM PUSHING ONE OF THOSE CARRIAGE-TYPE THINGYS?

This man looks me directly in the eye when he speaks to me. I just do not understand this phenomenon but let me tell you it is doing absolutely nothing for my self-esteem and I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I am just the world's most forgettable face or something. Honestly! How did he not recognize me? We have been running into each other for two entire years now. So I am baffled. And rather distressed.

And I am going to buy myself that new stroller this weekend and then I am going to run him over with it. YOU'LL KNOW WHO I AM THEN, OLD MAN.

Comments

[Jp]

I seriously just laughed out loud at work just now! But the thought of you posting a picture of a backpack-shaped sweatspot reminded me of a video clip you promised us waaaaay back. Did I miss that? I'm just saying you're skinnier now and all...

[Arwen]

One time Bryan and I went on a walk and I had Camilla in the Ergo rather than her stroller because she was grumpy, and after we'd walked a mile or so I was starting to feel tired and wanting to turn around, and Bryan was all "you're such a wimp," so I made HIM wear the baby, and then he was singing a different tune, oh yes he was. I'm impressed that you took Asher on such a long walk in the backpack.

[Monica]

Perhaps he is at home thinking "That woman I saw today looks just like this other lady in the neighborhood that weighs about 25 lbs more than her."

Men aren't very perceptive are they?

[Molly]

Hahaha. Maybe it's a guy thing. They don't notice things--like the juice that's right in front of their face when they open the fridge door.

[Natalee]

Yeah, I'm with Molly on that one! My husband is the KING of Oblivious-Land. He'll open the closet, look at his clothes, and say, "Where's my shirt? I can't find my shirt!". I'll go to the closet and the shirt? Is RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE!!

[metalia]

There's a man who lives in our building with whom I end up riding the elevator on at least a weekly basis. EVERY TIME, this man says to me, "So, you new in the building?" This has been going on since we moved in OVER TWO YEARS AGO.

[Luisa]

Ah, I feel your pain. Literally.

I went to the gym for the first time in oh, about THREE years on Tueday. May have gotten a little carried away. May have run 5.3 kilometres on a treadmill, just to prove "I still had it".

I don't still have it. I can't walk now.

Luisa.

[MBKimmy]

I love our stroller but then again Tatum is only 9 weeks old and not a master at holding her head up ... we tried the back pack but it doen't do so good yet!

[Karyn A.]

It is a guy thing. He probably didn't recognize you without the "carriage-type thing" in front of you.
Asher's a good little traveler! Are you guys planning on taking him to his first AU game this fall? I think you should. (I may be just a wee bit excited about football season.)
Let Dave wear the backpack though.

[andrea]

We have the same backpack but also have the sunshade to go with it. I can't tell you how many people point and make comments when I am wearing it. I've had people follow me for an entire city block just talking about it, "it's a backpack people, get over it"!
We tried an all day parade and street fair earlier this summer and I drew the short straw and had to wear it all day. I couldn't walk for 3 days--ouch!

[Megan]

I second Karyn's hypothesis. I think he sees you as "woman + kid + stroller," and when you take out the stroller, he thinks you're someone else all together.

[Kathie]

I really want you to go up to him with the new stroller, looking all excited and thank him profusely for his amazing advice, and tell him he was so right and you can't believe you didn't think of this solution before! Perhaps shaking his hand in a really OTT way all the time...

[lisa]

Maybe the backpack is like Clark Kent's glasses and completely changes your appearance, rendering you unrecognizable?

[kerrianne]

I always wanted to try hiking in one of those weighted vests. I should just ask to carry a baby on my back instead. ; )

(I love the babypack. Very rad. Except for the sorer than sore part, of course.)

[Katie]

A little late, but I totally recommend BOB. We have the revolution and LOVE it. It is so easy to push, one handed even, for Dave. And, it's on really good sale at REI for $285. Just make sure that you get the 2007 model which reclines. The 2006 doesn't.

[my life is brilliant]

Ooo, liking Monica's comment! And at least you got yourself a good leg workout. Does wonders for the glutes!

Don't be frustrated that adding 30 pounds was hard work. That's 30 extra pounds! There's a reason dumbells go up in increments of 2.5 pounds!

[Diane]

Do you ever play on Fark.com? I'm on TotalFark, and some dude just posted that picture of you that used to be your profile pic (the one where you have that strained goofy grin in the bar) in a thread where people are posting pictures of "poop faces." (It's mature, no?) At first I thought, "Hey! Is Emily on TotalFark?" Then I looked at the profile, and it clearly wasn't you.

Here is a link, if you want to see it:

http://www.picturewizard.com/pic.asp?u=13241AB/0/EmilyonFark.JPG

(I had to do a screenshot, because TotalFark is subscription based, so a link to the actual thread would do you no good.)

Sorry if this is weird to leave this in a comment, but I thought sending you an email about it would be even weirder!