Overhaul

I joined the online Weight Watchers program over the weekend.

I struggled a little when deciding whether or not to blog about it, mainly because I am the rare variety of blogger whose entire network of family and friends is informed of—as well as up to date with—her website. And it’s not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed that I need to lose some weight. Me? Embarrassed? Or afraid to write about something on the Internet? Bah!

I was more afraid that admitting that I wanted to lose weight would convey to others—specifically those I know in real life—that I lack confidence in myself. All my life, I have tried my best to focus on the real me, the me who has a brain and a sense of humor and a heart, rather than just as the body that these things happen to be housed in. And I think for the most part, I have done that successfully and I think other people see that in me.

I also want you to know that I have never EVER asked Dave if something made my butt look big. I am very—and understandably, bizarrely—proud of that.

So I do want to lose a few pounds. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am still a secure, healthy person who is proud of her body and what it can do. I STILL LIKE MYSELF.

The problem is that I just don’t know how to eat properly.

This Weight Watchers thing? You have to eat fruit! And vegetables! And what’s worse? You’re supposed to eat a LOT of them. Like, every day even, instead of cheese or chocolate or waffle fries! And although I am trying my best to comply, the fiber content of my new diet is going to necessitate the immediate hiring of a babysitter just so I can spend a good portion of my day in the bathroom.

The whole process of signing up took about six minutes, five of which were dedicated to me trying to force the website to accept what I thought was an appropriate Personal Weight Goal. Which it completely refused to do. According to Weight Watchers, my weight should fall somewhere within the range of 119 to 144 pounds. And that made me laugh. And I mean REALLY laugh, because I believe that weight range was one I passed through effortlessly between grades six and eight.

The weirdest part is how SERIOUSLY I’m taking it all, especially since I kind of signed up on a whim. I always thought the reason Weight Watchers was so successful for people was because they had to show up at a meeting every week and get weighed in front of a bunch of people and a leader, all of whom would know if they hadn’t lost any weight. Which is like The Scariest Thing in the Entire World besides eating a 7-11 hot dog. I don’t have anyone but myself to be accountable to, but what’s doing it for me is the online tracking system.

I have a terrible weakness for tracking systems.

When Asher was a couple of months old, Whoorl posted this and I signed up immediately. Probably within .003 seconds. And it had this crazy effect on me that I never had anticipated it would: I was pumping more often and for longer amounts of time just so I could record it. I got overly excited when the sleep tracker appeared to show that a nap schedule was emerging. And when Asher woke in the middle of the night, I would get him back down to sleep and THEN I WOULD STOP BY THE COMPUTER (!) AND LOG IN (!!) AND RECORD THE WAKING (!!!). I couldn’t bear to wait for morning because what if I couldn’t remember EXACTLY when he woke up? What if I got it wrong? What if I thought he had been up for 35 minutes and it had really been 37? Then I would NEVER HAVE AN ACCURATE LOG OF HIS ACTIVITIES! And I would have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.

Obviously I had to quit. Things had gotten a leeeeetle out of hand.

This is a bit easier, since I only have to update it when I eat or when I exercise, and since I’m really not snacking anymore (I know I’m not because there’s still an unopened box of Ritz crackers in the cabinet and an entire delicious block of sharp white cheddar cheese in the refrigerator), that’s only like four times a day. But I am still trying to do it perfectly and honestly, as is my nature, and therefore will probably be crushed to learn that I haven’t lost 15 pounds, even after an entire WEEK of being an A+ Weight Watchers participant.

I am determined to be successful at this. And when I am? I will totally take you with me shopping for a new dress for the weddings I am going to this summer. Won’t that be fun?

And now! A photo of terrible parental negligence!



WHO STUCK ALL THAT HAIR ON MY KID’S FACE?

Also?



Who knew sitting up could be SO FREAKING CUTE?

And also also?



Elvis is in the building, but no peanut butter and banana sandwiches until he's at least two years old.



And Asher would please like Mommy to shut up already, this website has enough mindless drivel.

Comments

[Natalee]

OMG, that 2nd photo about did me in! The Pose! The Curled Lip!! Can't. Handle. The. Cuteness!!

Also, I'm interested to see how WW online goes for you, because I've been mulling signing up myself.

Good luck!

[AdirondackJen]

Good luck!! I do the once-a-week meeting @ WW (no one sees your weight but the scale lady). Being honest about waffle fries IS hard. That's the hardest part.

It's not a sign of weakness to need some kind of program or tracking to lose weight -it's proactive! Be proud that you'd doing something good for yourself!! I think the confidence-in-yourself thing is backwards; it takes tons of confidence to do this!!

Yeah, and we all are still hangin' in there for the wetsuit and flippers and goggles walk-a-thon! Whoo hoo!

[Robbi]

Good luck with the WW! I don't think I could ever have enough willpower to stick to something like that. I've tried to quit smoking 3423453 times over the past 5 years or so, but I'm convinced it will never actually happen until I get pregnant.
Asher is too cute, and he is getting so big.
I also have 2 weddings to go to this summer, and am totally pumped to go buy a new dress =)

[maggie]

Asher is so adorable!! Hooray for sitting up. Also, what kind of toy is that? It looks super fun!

[magpie]

The kids is adorable. I keep thinking about Weight Watchers. But here's the crazy thing - I don't own a scale. I guess I'd have to buy one to do the on-line thing, huh? Keep posting about it; I for one am interesting in how it goes.

[Maggie]

I think that's awesome. I still have a few weeks to go before I can think about losing weight, but I'm already paranoid about how hard it will be. I'll get out my summer clothes in a few months and be depressed because they're all new from last summer when I lost 20 pounds! Ugh, already depressed. But you- go you! May the force be with you. (And I have also fallen prey to online tracking sites!)

[jen]

WHAT? There are no Waffle Fries in the Weight Watchers Diet? Well, thbbbt.
Good For You!!! You are Doing Something About It, and that is very commendable!!
Best of Luck.

Asher=I could eat him up for supper!! TOO CUTE!

[jonnikerjonniker]

Emily, I'm a huge fan of WW online. HUGE. I've been on it off and on for a few years, and frankly, it's the only thing that works for me. I did the core program before, and I feel like such a fool for not choosing Flex. Flex has actually taught me how to eat properly, and for the first time in all this up and down weight crap, I feel like I might actually keep it off (at least until I get pregnant and totally screw that up...conversely, though, I feel like I have the tools to get the weight off then, too).

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to lose weight and be healthier. You CAN still like yourself, and you're not betraying feminism by wanting to take care of yourself. It really bothers me that the pendulum swings so far from one end to the other with no middle ground (You're overweight, fat and ugly! You're anorexic! There is no in-between!)

I'm a big fan of the program, really. And I'm all online and yes, I'm totally addicted to tracking systems. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Christena]

De-lurking to say, I do the WW meetings with the e-tools, so I track everything online and go to the meetings once a week to weigh in. I have been struggling with weight since my 2nd child was born almost 14 years ago. Now, though, I am only 6 pounds away from my goal weight, yay! Personally, WW is the only thing that has worked. I tried Atkins, but I like my carbs too much. I am a potato person, mashed, fried, boiled, just give me my potatoes. I like WW because you can have a little bit of anything you want, if you're willing to spend the points :)

[Mandi]

My baby has the same toy (the orange and blue triangular thing), and at six-months-old, it keeps him independently occupied for seriously, like, 30 minutes at a time. Independently. I can clean the kitchen and he's still playing with it. Awesome.

[paisley]

Since you like charting, you must check out fitday.com. Not only are there charts! graphs! personalized goals! did I mention charts?!?! it is FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

[Maureen]

First of all, I want to say that I think Weight Watchers is awesome. I've never done it, but I witnessed a loved one melt away while doing it, but you wouldn't have known she was on a diet if you didn't know she was on a diet. You know? I applaud the way WW teaches people how to eat. Yes, you can have cake! Once in a while! MODERATION! It's genius. If I ever do join something it will be WW.

Second of all, Asher is, naturally, freaking adorable. And sitting up already! So far, Jack rolls from front to back... sometimes. He rolled from back to front once, but usually he decides that whatever he is reaching for isn't worth it. Sitting up? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. I have a very lazy, albeit contented, baby. Takes after his mom!

[Alexa]

I second everything Jonniker said. I weighed in this morning and I've lost 8.6 pounds in seven weeks, and more importantly, I just feel healthier.

[Dawn]

Isn't it amazing how much more FREEDOM you get when they can sit up? He's adorable.

Good luck with the WW - you've inspired me to get back to tracking myself on Fitday.com.

[Lissa]

You can do it I know you can! I have complete faith in you. I used to be a member of WW and when I was consistent it really worked. Good luck you are going to do great!

[Anna]

You know those nursing logs they give you at the hospital? I asked for a blank one and made copies. And I filled them in for 3 MONTHS! That would be every single feeding anf diaper change. For 3 months. I've relaxed a bit now. Good luck with the weight loss! I'm right there with ya, if only I could give up sweets for more than a minute.

[Blythe]

My name is Blythe and I am a TrixieTracker addict. Maybe we should start some kind of support group.

[Mary]

I am on of the many who does WW. I have done it on my own in the past, using the on-line tools, but this time around, I am actually attending the meetings. And I am loving it. And the scale ladies are all very nice, even when you gain weight, which I have done twice.

Also, you can have waffle fries on WW. You can have ANYTHING on WW! You just have to count the Points!

Good luck!

[Melissa]

I think it's great that you are doing this to be a healthier eater and not to be a size 2. Good luck!

And the photos... heeeeee. Love it.

[Beret]

I'm nosy..what *is* your goal weight? And..can't you still eat waffle fried on WW? They're just more points or whatever right? I've always felt WW was very realistic in it's methods..portion control and whatnot.

Also, you never told us WHERE you shop. WHERE???

[Angie]

Cutest pictures ever!! God, that boy is adorable. So proud : )

I think you'll do well on the WW. This guy I used to work with did it and lost a TON of weight. He looks like a completely different person. It takes awhile, but I think with the amount of exercise you do, you'll see that you can still have those fries or chocolate every now and then and not feel guilty about it because it's your "bonus points". It's nice because it's flexible in that respect. Good luck!!
Love, Ang

[Leticia]

Holy crap I'm still laughing about you actually logging on in the middle of the night to post the feeding. Hysterical.

[Sadie]

I have been half-assedly trying to lose weight for about a year, with no success. Until a month ago when I discovered thedailyplate.com. It is essentially a free ripoff of WW Online, except it's not a "points system." It just tells you to put in your height and weight and your weight loss goal, and then it tells you how many calories you can eat per day to reach that target weight. You log every damn thing that passes your lips, and all the water you drink. And novel concept: if I exercise I can eat more calories!! This is the only thing that has ever truly motivated me to move my ass before: if I walk for a half hour, I can eat chips and salsa when I get back!
I am also a crazy online tracking tool junkie, I guess. But it works! So good luck to you.

[Shawnee]

This is because of that damn lactation lady & her french fry vendetta, isn't it???

I've been considering WW online too since sitting around on my ass & eating whatever I damn well please doesn't seem to be helping me lose those extra 10 (15) pounds. Go figure. Good luck! Can't wait to see your progress!

[Rebecca]

Best of luck with WW. I had wonderful success with it - lost 30 lbs and have kept it off for a year. The accountability is key for me.