26 weeks

Dear Still Nameless Baby Boy,

I guess first I have to say that I realize I haven’t made much of an effort in the last few weeks to write to you. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t think I plan to neglect you in any sort of similar fashion once you officially arrive all screamy and squirmy into this world. Your father and I are even going to sign up for a class to learn how to birth and subsequently take care of you, so the fact that I haven’t written a letter to you in the past month should really be no indication of how we will treat you once you physically reside with us. We have every intention of changing your diaper regularly and feeding you in a timely manner and I will probably even attempt to sing to you, although you cannot expect your father to join in because he hates singing so much that he won’t even attempt to mouth the words to the worship music at church. And while we’re on the subject, you better go ahead and get yourself used to the idea of church, because you will most certainly be going every single week, young man—and there are NO EXCEPTIONS. Although your father is a little wary of ever leaving you in the church nursery during a service because, according to him, “They let ANYONE volunteer down there,” and, sadly, by “anyone” he means his best friend, Lynn, who is also the only person that Hambone refuses to let into our house without first attempting to bite him in an extremely personal area and well, between you and me? That’s saying something.

Lately you’ve been an active little fetus. I am now not only able to see your punches and kicks from out here in the real world, but I can see you rolling and moving and somersaulting under my skin as well. This fascinates your father and he is always begging me to “make you do something.” I do not think he understands that I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. Nor can I. You have already clearly proven that you have a mind all your own, and a truly gifted mind at that, seeing as how you chose wisely to sleep completely through “Syriana” the other night, waking to wriggle and kick only when it had ended and we were all tucked into bed and could pay you some proper attention. In hindsight, I personally wish I had been clever enough to sleep through “Syriana” as it was a complete and total waste of time and brainpower. (Not to mention that George Clooney looked terribly fat—a bit of a visual waste as well.) What can I say, little one? You are teaching us such great things from inside the confines of the womb.

Your father, on the other hand, appeared to completely understand the movie, and I realized that this is good news for both of us. Your father is an extremely intelligent man, which—besides being one of his most endearing traits—will benefit you greatly in the future because he will know exactly how to help you when someday you begin to struggle with long division or geography or your government homework. And this benefits me because your father will know exactly how to help you when you eventually begin to struggle with this long division or geography or government homework. I plan to spend that valuable teaching time soaking leisurely in a bubbly tub somewhere while the two of you figure it out together. After all, if I’m going to donate my boobs solely to you and you alone for the beginning of your time here on earth, I figure your father will agree to take on the intellectual responsibilities.

Tomorrow marks exactly three months until your due date, and everything is starting to fall into place... at least, preparation-wise. Your nursery is now about 90 percent complete, and it’s a relief to know I won’t be painting or hanging curtains or running around like a maniac in HomeGoods looking for a suitable side table while simultaneously sporting a gut the size of a watermelon. Your father has been much more involved in the nursery process than I ever expected him to be. It’s not that he has voiced strong opinions about certain items or anything like that (at least, not since the Great Crib Debate of Early 2006); instead, his enthusiasm for the project has propelled him into some kind of SuperDad mode and therefore, anytime we buy something he makes a huge, concerted effort to have it hung or in its proper place within 15 minutes after we get it home. Last Saturday I went to the pool to relax for a few hours and when I got home, I found him in your room with the door locked. When he finally let me in a few minutes later, I saw that he had hung your new curtains, a light fixture for the reading nook and the handmade flying dragon that we bought at a craft fair. He was grinning ridiculously from ear to ear. Last night I put the finishing touches on our decorative painting job by hanging some artwork and your father was so excited about it that we spent the next hour sitting on the floor admiring our hard work and chatting excitedly about your arrival.

   

   

I’m pretty sure you’re going to think he’s an awesome Dad. I certainly do.

Love,



Your Mom

Comments

[Lil' Liberal]

Very touching letter to your son. :) And I'm jealous of your nursery. I love the mobile.

BTW, Don't know if it will work for you, but my fetus seems to like playing "avoid the poke". So if I want her to squirm around on the left, I poke the right side of my uterus. If I want to get her to stop kicking my bladder, I just poke around randomly until I no longer feel like my bladder is going to explode. Not that I sanction making use of the baby for one's husband's entertainment... Something which I'm totally innocent of... *coughs* *looks uncomfortable* *hides*

[Robbi]

yay! a belly picture at last!! the dragon is awesome btw, love it!

[Dee Dee]

De-lurking here... I love the nursery! Where did you find the Alphabet letters with all of those tools? Way cool!

[Cheryl]

You are such a cute pregnant lady! And I love the manly wall hangings!

[Daily Tragedies]

Good Lord, you're GORGEOUS!!!

(Secretly hoping it took you thirty-odd attempts to get that good of a picture, but seriously doubting it.)

[Mrs. S]

That is a truly wonderful belly picture.

And, while I think it is super-adorable how you mentioned what a spectacular father Dave is going to be, you failed to mention what an astounding mother YOU are going to be. Bad girl!

[Obabe]

God, you are soooo cute. Isn't that lovely, hearing it from a complete stranger from the internet?!?!?!
and I completely agree with your about Syriana- especially about George's plumpness. What was the point?

[The Mom]

You look so cute! Your hair is adorable. I'm glad to see you're about as big as me belly-wise. I'm sick of people telling me how small my belly is (not something one wants to hear after having previously given birth to a 3 lb baby). The nursery looks great too. I love what you did with the alphabet cards. What a lucky little boy!

Oh, and "I won’t be painting or hanging curtains or running around like a maniac in HomeGoods looking for a suitable side table while simultaneously sporting a gut the size of a watermelon"... yeah, that'll be me.

[Ida]

I love it. The room is adorable and you are too. It is so much fun getting the nursery together. I remember sitting in my son's room doing the same thing.

[Marly]

That dragon is the cutest thing I have ever seen! Cletus is going to love it.

[owlhaven]

Cute room- cute mom!

Mary, mom to many

[Steph]

I am SO JEALOUS! My nursery can't be done until mid-august.. and that's if I'm lucky. The room is a disaster area which needs a new floor and holes patched in the walls etc..

Your room looks great though - congrats :)

[Natalee]

Hooray! A belly pic at last!

I love the nursery-it's truly divine, and will easily convert for a big boy room.

Your son is very lucky, indeed. :)

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Your hair is looking fabulous! Or as Jonathan from that awful Blow Out show would say "your hair.....has never been...soooo....BANGIN'."

The nursery, of course, is equally as bangin'.

[Maureen]

OK, we have the same due date, but my nursery not even CLOSE. And I thought I was doing well to have 1/3 of the hideous Precious Moments wallpaper stripped. But it's not my fault! It's the bathroom renovation that is taking twice as long as anticipated! Still, you're making me look bad, so stop it.

[lori]

Very cute nursery, but not cutesy, you know? Well done, Emily and Dave.
Also, if I cut more of my hair off, it will be entirely the fault of that picture and the goodness of your hair therein.

[Angie]

The nursery looks so cute Em! I love it! Did you paint the orange squares on the wall and then mount the cards? Very creative. Make sure you save room for a matching growth chart...or something like that. Not that I know anything about a gift like that. ;) The flying dragon is a great touch. I'm sure he'll spend hours looking at that. Hopefully being content and letting you sleep a little longer!
You look great! Love Ang

[jes]

I totally hope you compile these letters into a book or something for Little Nameless Boy, because they are .P.R.E.C.I.O.U.S.!!!!

Also, you? In that last picture? Glowing.

[Serenity Now]

So cute... you, the nursery, these letters... GAH! I can't take it!!!

[KristinC]

Love it all! And what a great belly pic, you are soooo adorable! :) We have the same haircut too! I think I speak for everyone when I say we can't wait to meet this little surprise baby! :)

[lissa]

That is such a cute room for your baby boy! I love the crib and bedding.

As for letting anyone volunteer to work in the nursery, I think that is true for EVERY church. Case in point it's my turn next Sunday.

[Kristin]

Your posts always manage to make me laugh like a hyena or sob like a baby. What a sweet letter!
And how cute is your nursery? I should have hired you to design mine.
P.S. You're officially on my list for looking so ridiculously gorgeous at 26 weeks pregnant. Let me know if you get stuck in a booth at Olive Garden in a few weeks, THEN I will feel better. :)

[QueenieCarly]

Emily, you look so gorgeous!!! And the room... it's fantastic! The artwork looks great and I *love* the light fixture. You guys have done a great job. And I really love reading about how enthusiastic Dave is. That's awesome!

[NotThatTara]

WHERE did you get those letter cards? They're adorable!

Also, you look fantabulous, girl. :-)

[halloweenlover]

Beautiful belly! And the room looks fantastic!